Ep 9 · The Own It Podcast
How to Charge a Full Commission and Build a Referral-Only Business with Shari Gronvall
The Compass Washington, DC agent on defending a 3% fee without flinching, running an almost entirely repeat-and-referral practice, and why she turned a referral network into 30% of her annual volume.
In episode 9, Ross Seligman sits down with Shari Gronvall, a Washington, DC agent at Compass who moved to DC from New Jersey at 18 for George Washington University and never left. Twenty-one years into real estate, she is on the Washingtonian 100 Best Agents list, ranked top 1% of agents nationally, and has built a business that is almost entirely repeat clients and referrals — no cold calling, no neighborhood farming, no ad spend. The conversation covers how she defends a full 3% commission (and insists her sellers offer the buyer side the same), how the Sitzer/Burnett settlement changed her first-meeting script, why she hired a full-time virtual assistant in the Philippines instead of building a team, how one Compass retreat in Atlanta turned agent-to-agent referrals into roughly 30% of her business, and how she priced and marketed listings through a historically slow post-COVID DC market.
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I charge a full commission. This is why I'm blessed that I work more than full time and I love what I do. I love who I work with. It's really the market expertise and the reputation piece where I really believe strongly that I will get the buyer the property, get a better deal, better terms, and just things will run so much more smoothly.
Shari Gronvall showed up in Washington, DC at 18 for George Washington University and basically never left. Twenty-one years later, she's on the Washingtonian 100 Best Agents list and ranked top 1% nationally. But that's not actually why I wanted her on the show. I wanted her for how she built it. She didn't chase volume or run ads. She built almost her entire business on repeat clients and referrals — the kind where one client sends her their parents, their siblings, their whole office. That doesn't happen by accident.
>> Shari, welcome. >> Thank you for having me, Ross. >> You didn't build this business on volume or ads. It's almost entirely repeat and referral. When did you realize that was an actual business model and not just something nice that kept happening to you?
I realized it pretty early on because I loved the relationship piece the most. When I got into this business in my twenties, I thought the most exciting piece would be seeing all the houses. The houses are actually really far down the list of my favorite things about this job. It's the relationship. So I knew early. It took me a while to focus my energy there because other agents give you lots of advice — go after this, do that. For the past many years I've stayed focused: this is my business, this is who I love working with, and I put all my marketing and energy there.
That is also why I don't specialize in a price point or a neighborhood. I only work in neighborhoods I know, but I'm doing one-bedroom first-time home buyers and expensive forever homes in the same week. Gigantic difference in price point, but the same relationship piece. >> So you specialize in people, not properties. >> Exactly.
>> Walk me through the first meeting with a new client, especially a referral. What are you doing or saying in that first hour that sets the tone for everything? >> A past client or an agent in another market connects me with somebody. We set up a Zoom or FaceTime first. I make it clear that it has to be a fit for me as well, because I'm not transactional with my clients — I'm with them forever. People message me all throughout the year, where should I send my kids to this. So the initial conversation gets right into how I work, my fee, how I run my business, questions. Then we sign a buyer agreement and get started.
>> Did COVID change that? >> What changed the most was our industry — the Sitzer settlement made it law that we have to sign an agreement right away. I used to say, let's go see property in person, meet at the house, make sure we're a fit, and sign an agreement after. We can't do that anymore. So I explain on that FaceTime that we have to have an agreement before we walk into a property. Maybe we sign a one-week agreement, make sure it's a fit, then extend it. The Zoom or FaceTime first became even more important.
>> How often is it not a good fit? >> Rarely, because I hardly ever get cold-called. It's almost always someone connected through an agent, a client, a friend. Birds of a feather. Occasionally someone cold-calls — we saw you sold these houses in our neighborhood. They assume right away I'll be selling myself and trying to convince them to work with me. I tell them on that initial email, I generally only work with people who have a connection, but I'm happy to set up a Zoom and if it's a mutual fit I'd be happy to consider working together. That has actually worked out a couple times this year.
Setting the tone from the beginning that it has to be a fit for me also — there's a people management piece and a respect piece. It shows you're a good negotiator and in control if you can set the tone nicely. I had a listing conversation this year where the seller came in with a crazy price. I said, I would love for you to get that price, but it's not market value right now. I'm not willing to do something I know won't be successful. >> You're removing the commoditization. They assume every agent wants every client. We do not.
>> Let's talk about the commission conversation, in light of the lawsuit. Do you ever get asked to cut your fee? >> All the time. It's easy for me with cold callers. I explain: I charge a full commission because I work more than full time, I love what I do, and the market expertise and reputation piece means I will get the buyer the property, better terms, and things will run smoothly. I'm happy to put you in touch with people who worked with me recently and ask them if they thought I was worth the three percent.
On the buyer side there is a chance you make the difference if we can't get the seller to budge, but I'm a great negotiator and generally I do get the seller to pay the full three percent. Generally the listing agent knows me and tells the seller she's worth it. Not being brand new helps. On listings I feel very strongly that we offer the buyer side three percent, and I use that as a marketing tool. Before the property goes on market, I pull a CSV, send an email to every agent who's sold in that zip code — beautiful picture, floor plans, description, full commission. It's not worth risking one fewer offer for a half percent. Everything needs to look expensive on the listing side.
I don't want anything to look discounted. Full commission makes me look like a tough negotiator with sellers who are offering 3%. All of it translates into better offers and a better transaction. It's really rare that I've had a seller push back when I explain it that way.
>> Let's talk about staying top of mind with past clients. From the outside, referrals look like magic. From the inside there's usually a system. >> This is newer in the past three years. For many years I didn't run my business like a business. I was blessed that I had a decent business from stuff that fell in my lap. When the market slowed down after COVID and I saw the signs — I've been in this since 2004, I remember the pre-crash years — I knew it wasn't a few months, it was going to be a flat multi-year period. Much less volume. So I reevaluated.
I wasn't sending a monthly newsletter. I wasn't sending postcards. The biggest change was hiring a virtual assistant who is now really an executive assistant. She is full time in the Philippines, smart and amazing. I kept finding new things she could run — the CRM, DocuSign, data entry, the monthly email, the postcards, scheduling, calendar invites. The spring was bananas busy for me. I'm on the way to one appointment, a client texts about a property or a listing, I voice-text my assistant, see if the property's available, send calendar invites, confirm it. I am paying attention to the people in front of me. That piece is huge.
I also saw I loved my job more because I could do more of what I love — being with people, being in the negotiation, not sitting at a desk formatting a newsletter. If you take the leap, there are unforeseen results you could never anticipate. You're available for opportunities because somebody is ready to put together a listing presentation on the fly.
>> A lot of top agents start teams. Why did you decide not to? >> I've had several top agents who run small or big teams tell me they wish they had stuck with selling and just hired more help. That reminds me — what I love right now is being with clients and selling. Starting a team is tempting but it's not a good fit for me with kids at home. It gets me back in my lane.
>> You talk about building an agent community, not just a client base. That's how we met. What does that actually look like, and why spend time on agents instead of marketing to buyers and sellers? >> It was almost accidental. When the market slowed down and I reevaluated, I started attending Compass retreats. At the one in Atlanta about four years ago, I looked around and thought — how do all these people know each other, there are agents from every market hanging out. I want in on this.
At that event I met a Realm staff person, had a call about joining their networking group, went on the first retreat, and met so many smart, kind, collaborative people. I did not expect it to translate into referrals. There are 32,000 agents in Washington and more than 2,000 at Compass alone — I figured everyone already had their person. I got home from the first retreat and got a referral that same week. An agent from LA said she already had a DC agent, but my people would connect more with you. It kept growing. Now close to 30% of my business is agent-to-agent referrals from other markets. That is additional business — I'm not farming or advertising, so it's share I would not have had otherwise.
>> What would you say to an agent who thinks there's too much competition to break into those networks? >> People sniff out when you're there just for referrals. I get those emails — I want to be a referral partner — and they go in the trash. You have to go in wanting to make friends and have a good time. The referrals happen naturally with people who operate like you do.
>> DC is unusual — historic row homes, a lot of condos, and a population that shifts with every election cycle. How do you price in that market? >> We're very seasonal here. Unless a seller has to sell right now, it's better to wait till right after Labor Day. We're also in submarkets — Upper Northwest single family is very different from the Dupont condo market, and even building to building changes. You have to do a deep dive on the submarket, watch it, talk to every agent who recently sold or listed there. I won't take on a client in a neighborhood I don't know; I'll pair with or refer to an agent who does. It's not worth risking my reputation.
>> AI — how are you using it? >> I'm just starting to increase my usage. Writing, editing, mostly. I have my assistant doing a deeper dive and reporting back on what I should be using. The nugget I'd pass on — I just learned about Granola at the Southern California Luxury Summit. You stick it on your phone, it listens to a long meeting (great for a construction update call), summarizes it, and you can send that summary to your client.
>> For the people listening who want to send referrals to DC — where do you work? >> DC proper and the close-in suburbs. A lot of Upper Northwest where I live — near Georgetown, the Cathedral, American University. From my home office I can almost see Chevy Chase and Bethesda, so I do a lot in Maryland too. I know those streets inside and out. A tiny bit of close-in Virginia, but I usually pair with a Virginia agent or refer to one. I'd rather send a referral than risk a bad job in a neighborhood I don't fully know.
>> You've built a top 1% business while raising three kids. What have you had to say no to on purpose to make that work? >> Every fall I get asked to chair, volunteer, sponsor a dozen things. You have to pick one or two. Everything I say yes to I'm taking from my family. Early in my career I was bad at managing time boundaries — late text comes in, I respond. Now I'm much better. I'm an early riser; I'm sharpest in the morning. If somebody wants a late-night call I say — not that I'm not available, I'm just not as articulate at night. Schedule-send is a great thing. If a non-urgent email comes in late, I schedule it to go out at 7 AM.
What you’ll take away
- Specialize in people, not price points or neighborhoods — Shari works first-time condo buyers and multi-million-dollar forever homes in the same week because the relationship is the specialty.
- Defend the fee out loud — Shari charges 3% as a buyer agent and insists her sellers offer the buyer side 3%, because a discounted buyer commission costs more offers than it saves in fee.
- The Sitzer/Burnett settlement forced the agreement to the first meeting — she now runs a Zoom or FaceTime, confirms mutual fit, then signs a one-week buyer agreement before any showing.
- A full-time virtual assistant was the hire that unlocked the rest — hers runs the CRM, DocuSign, monthly newsletter, postcards, and inbound scheduling so Shari stays in appointments.
- Agent referrals became a third of the business by accident — one Compass retreat in Atlanta turned into a Realm membership that produced the first referral within a week of her flying home.
- Say no to the galas and sponsorships that do not fit — Shari skips school sponsorships she is uncomfortable with and declines evening calls after her sharpest hours, because every yes trades family time.
Why does Shari Gronvall still charge a full 3% commission in a post-Sitzer market?
Shari Gronvall charges a full 3% buyer-side commission in Washington, DC and insists her sellers offer the buyer side the same. Her reasoning is empirical, not aspirational. On the buyer side she tells prospects: she will get them the property, better terms, and a smoother transaction, and she will put them in touch with recent clients to verify that the fee was worth it. On the listing side she tells sellers that offering the buyer side a reduced commission is not worth risking one fewer offer for a half-percent savings — a listing has to look expensive from the first email a buyer agent receives.
The pre-market CSV email she sends to every agent who has recently sold in the ZIP code of her new listing is a specific mechanism. Beautiful photos, floor plans, description, full commission. It frames the listing as premium before it ever hits the MLS, and it signals to buyer agents that she is a seller advocate who negotiated the full fee. In her experience, sellers rarely push back on offering the full 3% when the mechanism is explained — because the mechanism is a marketing tool, not a cost center.
The underlying rule: do not let the first impression of the listing look discounted. Everything about the listing has to telegraph expensive, which starts with how it is presented to the agent community and ends with how the seller's commission posture signals confidence or desperation.
How did Shari Gronvall turn the Sitzer/Burnett settlement into a mutual-fit filter?
Before the Sitzer/Burnett settlement forced buyer agreements to the first meeting, Shari would meet buyers in person at a property, confirm chemistry, and sign later. The law changed that: no showing without an agreement in place first. Rather than treat the requirement as paperwork friction, she rebuilt her intake around it.
The new intake is a Zoom or FaceTime before anything else. In that call she explains the fee, how she runs the business, and the fact that it has to be a mutual fit for her too. She mentions she is not transactional — she is with these clients forever, including the ongoing where-should-I-send-my-kids-to-this questions years later. If the prospect is still interested after the call, they sign a one-week buyer agreement, go see property, and extend if both sides want to continue.
The structural effect is a filter. Prospects who want a transactional discount agent self-select out on that first call. Prospects who match her relationship model self-select in. The agreement requirement, which many agents treat as an obstacle, became her screening mechanism.
How does Shari Gronvall use a full-time virtual assistant to run a referral-only business?
Shari hired a full-time virtual assistant in the Philippines about three years ago. She started part-time and kept finding new work to hand off. The assistant now runs the CRM, DocuSign flows, the monthly email newsletter, direct-mail postcards to her sphere, scheduling and calendar invites, and live inbound coordination while Shari is in appointments. In her words: on the drive to one appointment, a client texts about a new listing, Shari voice-texts her assistant, who checks availability, confirms the showing, and sends the calendar invite — while Shari is paying attention to the people in front of her.
The strategic bet is specific. Before the hire, Shari was not running the business like a business. She had a strong post-COVID year and then watched volume collapse as the market softened, which forced the reevaluation. The assistant was the hire that made every other improvement possible: the monthly newsletter happens because somebody else formats it, the postcards happen because somebody else designs and schedules them, and the inbound referral flow is caught in real time because Shari is not stuck at a desk.
The second-order effect is more time in front of clients. Shari now spends her best hours in appointments and negotiations, which is where her fee is justified. Everything administrative that happens between those appointments runs on leverage.
How did one Compass retreat in Atlanta become 30% of Shari Gronvall's annual volume?
At a Compass retreat in Atlanta roughly four years ago, Shari looked around and noticed agents from every market who clearly already knew each other. She wanted in. At that event she met a Realm networking group staff person, took a call to discuss membership, joined, and attended her first Realm retreat. There she met a cohort of top agents from other markets whom she describes as impressive, kind, and collaborative.
She did not expect referrals — her working assumption was that every agent already had a DC person. Within a week of flying home from the first retreat, an LA agent emailed to say she already had a DC agent, but her people would connect better with Shari. One referral turned into a pattern. Today roughly 30% of her annual volume is agent-to-agent referrals from other markets, through Realm, Compass's national community, and other agent networks.
Her operating rule for the networks: do not go in trying to collect referrals. Agents sniff that out immediately — the explicit I-want-to-be-a-referral-partner emails go in her trash. Go in wanting to build friendships with agents whose values and client service match yours. The referrals follow because clientele with similar vibes work with agents who operate similarly.
Why did Shari Gronvall choose not to build a team?
Shari has had multiple top-producer friends who built teams tell her, in hindsight, they wish they had stayed in production and simply hired more support. That advice landed. For her life stage — three kids at home — team-building would pull her out of selling and into managing. She actively does not want that trade.
The alternative she chose is leverage without hierarchy. A full-time virtual assistant handles the admin surface. A disciplined refusal to say yes to every sponsorship or volunteer ask protects evening and weekend time for family. A seasonal awareness of DC — slower in winter and summer, strong post-Labor Day — lets her price listings and set client expectations accurately rather than overpromising.
The result is a top-1%-nationally practice with a single-agent org chart. The absence of a team is not an accident of scale; it is the designed outcome.
About the guest
Shari Gronvall
Shari Gronvall is a Washington, DC real estate agent at Compass who has worked in the DC market since 2004. She moved from New Jersey to DC at 18 to attend George Washington University and never left. She is on the Washingtonian 100 Best Agents list and ranked in the top 1% of agents nationally. Her practice is almost entirely repeat clients and referrals, with roughly 30% of annual volume coming from agent-to-agent referrals through networks including Realm and the Compass national community. She works primarily in Upper Northwest DC, Georgetown, the Cathedral and American University areas, and the close-in Maryland suburbs of Bethesda and Chevy Chase. She lives in DC with her husband and three children.
Frequently asked
Who is Shari Gronvall?
Shari Gronvall is a Washington, DC real estate agent at Compass who has been in the DC market since 2004. She is on the Washingtonian 100 Best Agents list and ranked in the top 1% of agents nationally. Her business is almost entirely repeat clients and referrals, with roughly 30% of annual volume coming from agent-to-agent referrals through networks including Realm and the Compass national community. She works primarily in Upper Northwest DC, Georgetown, the Cathedral and American University neighborhoods, and the close-in Maryland suburbs of Bethesda and Chevy Chase.
Why does Shari Gronvall charge a full 3% real estate commission?
Shari charges a full 3% because she offers market expertise and reputation that she argues produce measurable outcomes — getting the buyer the property, winning better terms, and running a smoother transaction. She tells prospects she is happy to put them in touch with recent clients to verify that her fee was worth it. On the listing side she insists sellers offer the buyer agent 3% as well, framing it as a marketing tool: a reduced buyer-side commission can cost a seller more offers than it saves in fee, and the listing has to look expensive from the first email a buyer agent receives.
How did the Sitzer/Burnett settlement change how Shari Gronvall meets new buyers?
Before the settlement, Shari met new buyers in person at a property, confirmed mutual fit, and signed an agreement later. The settlement made it law that a buyer agreement has to be signed before any showing. She now runs a Zoom or FaceTime first, explains her fee and how she runs her business, confirms mutual fit, and signs a one-week buyer agreement before the first showing. If both sides want to continue after that week, they extend. The requirement became her screening mechanism.
How does Shari Gronvall use a virtual assistant in her real estate business?
Shari hired a full-time virtual assistant in the Philippines about three years ago. The assistant runs the CRM, DocuSign, the monthly email newsletter, direct-mail postcards, scheduling, and live inbound coordination while Shari is in appointments. The leverage lets Shari spend her sharpest hours in front of clients and in negotiations, which is where her fee is justified, instead of at a desk formatting marketing materials.
How did Shari Gronvall build an agent referral network that drives 30% of her business?
At a Compass retreat in Atlanta roughly four years ago, Shari noticed agents from every market who already knew each other and wanted in. She met a Realm networking group staff person at that event, joined, and attended her first Realm retreat where she met a cohort of top agents from other markets. She got her first out-of-market referral within a week of flying home from that first retreat. Today roughly 30% of her annual volume is agent-to-agent referrals through Realm, Compass's national community, and similar networks. Her rule: build friendships first, and the referrals follow — agents who collect business cards get screened out of the networks that matter.
What neighborhoods does Shari Gronvall work in?
Shari works in DC proper and the close-in suburbs. She works heavily in Upper Northwest DC — near Georgetown, the Cathedral, and American University — and in the close-in Maryland suburbs of Bethesda and Chevy Chase, which are a short drive from her Upper Northwest home office. She does a small amount of close-in Virginia and will pair with or refer to a Virginia-specialist agent when a client needs deep local expertise there.
How does Shari Gronvall price listings in a seasonal Washington, DC market?
Washington, DC is a seasonal market. Shari tells sellers that unless they have to sell right now, it is better to wait until right after Labor Day because more buyers are in the city. DC also breaks down into tight submarkets — Upper Northwest single family is very different from the Dupont condo market, and even building to building changes. She will not take a client in a neighborhood she does not know, and she does a deep submarket dive on every listing: watching recent sales, calling the agents who sold them, and pricing against the actual comparable set, not the broad market.
Related from Own It Northwest
- Episode 7 — Scott Cutter on hiring for values over track record
Scott Cutter's playbook for building a brokerage by recruiting hotel managers and photographers instead of top producers — the same values-first filter Shari uses to screen new clients and referral partners.
- Episode 8 — Tiffany Pantozzi on virtual assistants and personal brand
Tiffany Pantozzi replaced a $100K in-house hire with three AI-powered virtual assistants. Shari's single-VA setup is the smaller-scale version of the same leverage model.
- Buying a home with Own It Northwest
How Ross runs the buyer intake in Portland — the post-Sitzer first-meeting flow Shari describes rebuilt for Oregon.
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